Porn addiction & sexual abuse within the family a mother’s perspective

The following story was sent by a brave mother in the American state of Utah who wishes to share her family’s journey to inspire and help others.

Hi, my name is Ashlie.

My story is from a mother’s perspective and has a lot of sadness, strength and hope.”

Two years ago, my then 5-year-old son told me that his older brother who was 12 at the time had been sexually abusing him. I was shattered I had no idea what to say or do.

 I sat there just mind blown and then my mother’s instinct kicked in and I immediately called my 12 year old son and asked him if these accusations were true, which I already knew they were, but I had to ask and my older son floored me again by admitting to it.

My twelve-year-old had a different life, being pulled between me and his father his dad lives a very sexually open life and doesn’t see the problem with porn and at that point I knew that I needed help.

So, against everyone telling me I was wrong, I called the cops and reported him to the police and filed charges. As the investigation unfolded it came out that my 12-year-old had been watching porn since the age of 9.

Sneaking around to do it, he had also sexually abused his cousin, trying to act out the scenes he’d seen in the videos.

My first thought had been someone had abused him and that’s why he did what he did.

I was so naive and clueless and had no idea what porn could actually do to a child’s mind. I never would have let him watch it regardless, but I never would have thought such horrible things could come from consuming images like that.

How wrong I was, and over this experience i have learned a lot about the effects watching porn can have on the mind and soul, it so disturbing.

My 12-year-old was having a hard time showing remorse and feeling sorry, he didn’t understand the “big deal” I was making, and why I wasn’t letting him around his brothers.

I pushed in court knowing that he needed help and finally they put him in a group home and even more things came to light, but the biggest thing that happened is my 12 year old realized how big a deal porn is and how secluding himself in a basement all day and night not having friends and watching porn was just part of his problem.

He grew up real fast and became a very mature young man while in the group home, I’ve never seen such a flip like that.

He really started learning what his triggers were, why he turned to porn in the first place he started treating himself like an addict with an addiction, which is what he is.

My story has a lot more to it but one of the biggest reasons I wanted to share this was because November first, exactly 2 years later my boys had a reunification therapy session and they both were so straight forward and discussed things that would be hard for adults to get through, but they did it with such maturity and humility.

My now 14-year-old has had to face some harsh realities he wanted to commit suicide a year ago and was calling himself a monster once he realized the weight of what he had done and the pain he has caused.

He pulled himself out of it though he reached out and asked for help from many people, he got VERY honest with us all. It was a very strange thing to see my little boy become a responsible honest young adult.

I believe his journey is not over and that he’s still going to have some hard days to come but I also believe that he will get through it and he will become a better person because he got real and honest and he admitted to being addicted to porn and sex and he named his triggers and recognizes behaviors that will lead back to dehumanizing himself and others.

I shared this because I, as a mother had to face both sides of the coin, the victim and the perpetrator.

I had to tell one child he was safe and did nothing wrong and the other one that he did bad things but that I loved him and would help him through this.

His entire family grandparents, aunts, uncles etc… all supported him though, and have tried their best to do what they could for him, and it shows that he has support. My opinion on a first step for anyone is be honest and earn your support group.

 People are more forgiving then we give them credit for and are willing to help. Also be open.

If my 14-year-old can get through it so can you.

Humility and honesty are key. My husband is still working on forgiving my 14-year-old, so life is not perfect, and everyone heals and changes at their own pace, but he is in therapy and trying to get there. My family is still not perfect, but we are working through this addiction together and we are all learning and trying to understand. Porn is an addiction, it is a “drug” and just like any other addiction with constant vigilance it can be overcome.

Thank you for listening!

I hope this can give people courage and strength no matter where they are in their addiction, or if they are a family member to an addict.

  • Ashlie, The brave mother from Utah.

An incredible story!

There are many lessons to take away from what Ashlie shared.

One above all others stand out and shine brighter.

The strength and importance of love and support. In order for love and support to be given the isolation of addiction must be broken, the sooner the better but it is NEVER too late.

As soon as the issue emerged and came to light, the boy spoke truth and even took full ownership of the situation. Maturing as a young man during the healing journey.

The family and relatives, once the truth was out could show their love, care and support during these very difficult times.

They can now heal together through their own efforts and through the love and support for each other.

Just like Ashlie says, do not fear breaking the isolation and find a supportive network.

Isolation itself is dangerous and fuels the addiction, once broken, the healing and recovery process can take place and gain momentum.

If you or a family member are struggling uphill against porn addiction and or sexual addiction do not hesitate to reach out now for professional aid.

If YOU want to inspire others who are on a voyage towards an addiction Free future
Then Send your story to:
contact@undisputedrecovery.com
Use the subject line: Share my story

Try including:
– how breaking the isolation was for you
– Effects of the addiction
– Recovering
– Life after the addiction

Your participation is greatly appreciated and Very important for every soul who is trying to find their path.

Undisputed PRN Recovery and Twin Rivers Rehab offer unique recovery options that ensures long term sustained results for people that want to end their addiction to porn.

Whether you are a busy person that need to work your recovery from home by video sessions or are in need of residential treatment followed by aftercare we provide the solution for you to quit porn for good.

Your comeback story is our passion.

Help is available now
Contact me by phone, Skype or email to get answers, sign up for one of the recovery options or to schedule your free 60min recovery session


Call: +46 73 140 21 03
Email: contact@undisputedrecovery.com
Skype: Chris – Undisputed Recovery

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